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12/2/12 New dates and thoughts

posted by bbanfield62 on Sunday December 2nd 11:17am

I just recieved my dates and times for the 6 month cancer check up. On Dec. 27, I have bloodwork and a CAT scan. The scan is of my neck, chest, abdomen, and pelvis. It's with and without contrast. Which means I have to drink that nasty orange drink again. It also means I have to fast.(No creamer in my coffee). At least it's after Christmas. On the 28th, I will meet with Doc Bael for the results. I'm sooooo glad I don't have to wait a week or two for the results. I'm one of those people who want to know things right away, in case you couldn't tell.

 When it's time for my check ups I tend to start to worry about the what if's. What if it's back, what if something else is there, how will I tell my family, can I do chemo again, do I want to do chemo again, am I strong enough to do it again, and so on. Sometimes I think I would do it again, but there are more days where I think, no, I don't want to go through that again. I know, some would think that I'm being silly for thinking about these things, but unlesss you live in this world, you have no idea. You want things set for that just incase moment. I want to talk to my family about this, but it makes them uncomfortable and sometimes mad, so I don't. I still envision some of the folks I saw during my infusions and my heart breaks for them and their families. One elderly woman really sticks in my head. I just wanted to cry when I saw her. She was probably a very strong woman at one time but she was so frail and weak. Okay that's enough of that depressing crap. Moving on.

I am going to NYC next weekend, for my birthday, with my siblings, their spouses, and my mom. I am so excited about this trip. I love the city during the holidays. It's so beautiful and it's a chance to obtain some more memories with my family. I am going to do some Christmas shopping as well. I have six grandbabiesb ya know. This trip is a gift from my mom and my youngest sister.(Thank you)

Okay, that's enough of my random thoughts. I will post more after my test result's are in. Have a very Merry Christmas and enjoy every moment you have.

Brenda

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